In a typical Indian home family is a huge word. Every time you hear your
mother threaten you, love you and cajole you in the the name of family. As a a child I was accustomed to a series of relatives visiting our family home at Patna. It used to be a fun time and rather dull and lonely when nobody was there. I must say that when no member of the extended family was there then sibling rivalry thrived and flourished much to my mother's anguish and dismay. Let me tell you this for me I was lucky that my parents had bestowed me with an elder sister who had a perennial grudge against me and two elder brothers who by the way were very timid and shy. Imagine a houseful of catty, snappy and hissing children... my mother poor thing had her hands full and to top it all we had an angry mutt whose only job was to snip the ankle of anyone visiting us.
My mother, God rest her soul found shelter at the neighbor's house when the ruckus at home was beyond her control. She would just fly off the handle and leave the house saying she was going away for good! Now my dad used to be out on tours (he was a forest officer you see) so mum was tired of settling issues between us. We would be really afraid that maybe one day she would really leave us for good and go away!
Come summer I would kick away my school uniform,school books and settle down reading books of all kinds which would lead me into a surreal world. Those were the the days when I would devour books for breakfast lunch and dinner! My tribute to all the authors writers who made my childhood so meaningful. I wonder the desire to read is a trait sadly missing in my kids today. Famous Five inspired me to have my first pet Tipu( closest to Timmy) who was my shadow.
Summer was time for family bonding.Mother was at her cooking best and it was really fun. I learnt a lot during my summer holidays. Between my brothers the younger one was a ninny always simpering and whining but the elder one exuded strength and was fun to be with because he would indulge in forbidden activities like watching late night movies at the local theater, play Rummy and just share jokes of his college life. To me he was like the man of the family.
My sister was disgusting at times but I really admired her strength, rebellious nature and intelligence. She was committed to herself and herself alone but very helpful if you needed her. Those were the days when you made pen pals. I remember my sister made and American pen pal who by the way was a girl and a German one (he was a he). The poor guy wrote a voluminous piece of profile work and sent it to my sister. Unfortunately, it fell in my mother's hand. She totally lost it and gave a tirade on western culture and its influence and threatened to burn all our books.Well my sister never dared to make pen pals again.
Where am I going with all this........ as I grew up I was a very different person and the meaning of family became evident. Family to me meant more than husband, wife and kids. It means sharing and making life easier for anyone who needs it. Family means to comfort people be it a stranger. Family means being not being a burden but being useful to others whenever needed. Be a giver, a doer and not a worrier! I am not painting my mother as an ogre but she was a tired and a harried woman who could not tackle four naughty children.Despite all I love my family because they are my identity even the brother who is a whiner even today!
PS I am married now with two children who are adults. They live in Canada and my husband and I live in Delhi(NCR)
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